I always said I was going to be honest when I wrote my blog. I have told many horrifying embarrassing stories over the 6 years I’ve been blogging. I guess now isn’t the time to stop. I’ve had bathroom issues my whole life. By bathroom, I mean bowel. It was very common for me to go to the bathroom as little as once a week, sometimes longer. I many times had to take laxatives to “move things along“. This in turn lead to many accidents because I couldn’t control the muscles in that region. This issue only got worse as my disease got worse. I tried many fiber pills, triple magnesium complex, and pure psyllium husk. They’d all work for a period of time and stop working. I finally started seeing a gastroenterologist who prescribed Linzess. It was working where I was finally having some consistency going to the bathroom without accidents.

Fast forward to this year and my days in the hospital. I couldn’t get Linzess from the hospital pharmacy because it is too pricey. I stopped taking it for weeks. They finally allowed me to bring in my own pills from home. However by this point I was given a laxative to produce a bowel movement. By the way this was not an easy thing, on a bed pan, in a hospital bed, with people fussing around. I decided not to place to bring back Linzess. I didn’t want to use the bedpan in the hospital. I started taking it again when I got home. Unfortunately, if I took it the results were, to be polite, messy. I figured ok, maybe I need to gradually bring them back. My body decided that Linzess wasn’t necessary anymore. I took the last pill months ago. I started going to the bathroom without any medication. Actually, I started going daily sometimes more than once. Than I’ll have these strings of days where I will go three, four or five times a day. I mentioned it briefly to my gastroenterologist in a video conference but he wasn’t concerned. At that point it wasn’t going on that long. He was thrilled I was going regularly. Now unfortunately, I’m still going daily with these stretches of excessive times a day. I am bloated too. I’m starting to think maybe this needs further investigation. Within an hour of eating, I always need the bathroom. I don’t think this is normal. I just need a normal day.

I think back to what my mom always said when I had one of my “accidents”. Better out than in. I dealt with the issues of constipation forever. A horrible feeling. Worse when you have difficulty bearing down with those muscles due to multiple sclerosis. Now this is a whole different issue causing a whole new list of problems. I am still somewhat dependent which leaves me in pull-ups. It does solve the issues of getting to the bathroom in time. I’d never make it. However, the embarrassment and humbling position this has put me in has scarred me beyond words. I thankfully have wonderful aides. I’m calling the gastroenterologist first thing today.