My heart is in pieces

My heart is in pieces

The outpouring of love and support has been so kind. Everyone who has ever owned and loved a pet understands the pain of losing one. Anyone that knows me, knows what Boomer meant to me. He was MY first dog. My dad had dogs when I was little but I didn’t live with my dad. I didn’t grow up with dogs in my day to day life. Boomer came right before my divorce started. We picked him up in April, my ex and I separated in August. My life changed. I sold my house and had to move to an apartment that luckily, let me have a dog. Boomer was just about a year old. I decided to put away his crate. Every night from the day I moved into this apartment Boomer slept in my bed. I can count on one hand the number of times he didn’t in 10 years.

I’d be the first to admit my relationship with Boomer was unnatural, unhealthy. I put too much on who he was to me. See he became my confidant, my best friend, my companion, and my safety net. Boomer never could do wrong. I took him everywhere with me in the beginning of his life and spoiled him rotten every chance I got. I stopped taking him everywhere when I got a second dog. Marshy wasn’t loved by Boomer, more tolerated, but it kept him young. Even with the additional dog who, I love completely, he was never Boomer. Boomer never jumped up to greet me at the door or ran over to lick my face but he was always there watching in the background. He was like my guardian angel making sure all is ok.

I always said my last tattoo would be boomers paw print. I never knew where I wanted to put it but I knew I needed to have it on me close. A few months ago I asked my daughter yo take a picture of his paw. I never thought I’d be lucky I got it when I did. I never thought I’d run out of time.

The animal hospital where I took him made me a clay piece of his paw too. 

I started the tears when I fed my second dog this morning and didn’t have to prepare a dish for Boomer. I cried when I called Marsh Boomer by accident and I cried writing this.  I want to hold his paw again and kiss his head.  I miss his presence.

A week ago I got a foster who I’m not at liberty to discuss more but the universe blessed me literally one week ago with this precious girl.

to help myself, my daughter and Marshmellow get through this terrible time.

10 thoughts on “My heart is in pieces

  1. I also was given a paw imprint mold right after my dag passed. Nice gesture on the vets part but killer on the heart strings. I’m crying as I write this. One day at a time Jamie. ♡♡♡

  2. I kept my Corgi Susie’s collar. I still have it in my drawer. She’s been gone almost 7 years. She’s the one who walked through the days of divorce with me. I waited over 5 years before praying for another dog, “a dog I could help”, and then, suddenly, Stella the bulldog came and helped me.

  3. My daughter has been asking for a puppy before the summer. I even gave a deposit down at a store but put it on hold. Last week I got a puppy a week later he dies. I just will miss him everyday. I thought I had time. He wasn’t even sick until the day before but I guess he really was….

  4. I’m so sorry. I cried a little as I read this. I’ve always been real close to my pets but Niko and Max are different. Niko and I found each other both coming from abusive environments. I worry sometimes how I would handle losing them. They have become such a part of my life,

    1. It really is heart wrenching I cried for the first 2 days straight now I just cry at moments. It’s very sad and I miss him so much.

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