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Tag: sadness

Marshmallow came home

Marshmallow came home

His ashes came separate from his urn. A meltdown. I knew that this error would make the process of getting his ashes emotionally more difficult. I was correct. Years ago, when I lost Boomer, I never saw his ashes. https://multipleexperiences.org/2017/01/04/boomer-came-home/. The urn was closed and I still have no idea how to even open the box. I didn’t know what to expect. It wasn’t ashes. It was like gravel and small rock like pebbles.  Jusr holding that in my…

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MS and depression it’s not all in your head

MS and depression it’s not all in your head

I wrote a blog couple weeks ago titled am I depressed? https://multipleexperiences.org/2017/05/16/am-i-depressed/. I agree with  everything I wrote, but when I saw my neurologist the other day, we decided to put Prozac back in my medicine mix.  Where I don’t think I’m depressed, what isn’t fully in control, is my emotions. I cry over everything. I’ve written blogs about this too. I cry over happy things and sad things, it makes no difference. According to webmd: http://www.webmd.com/multiple-sclerosis/guide/ms-depression#1 The Link Between MS and…

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I’m thankful for Boomer

I’m thankful for Boomer

Yesterday was a little better than the day before. Today my heart just feels very heavy. My sister said something to me when she first heard that was very profound and meant the most to me, “you connect with the souls of animals. The friendship and companionship you find in them is as deep as some of my human friends.” I never had many friends but I’ve had many pets. I’ve had rabbits, 6 cats and 3 dogs. I would…

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My four walls of solace

My four walls of solace

I’m going out for the first time today since it happened.  Unfortunately  I still have multiple sclerosis to deal with and I have doctor appointments and physical therapy.  I prefer the solace of my home. It is my comfort zone not only because of my MS but also for the memory and sadness of Boomer. I’ve been sleeping which is a good thing although I hate walking into my room. I hate knowing he isn’t coming into the bed to…

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My heart is in pieces

My heart is in pieces

The outpouring of love and support has been so kind. Everyone who has ever owned and loved a pet understands the pain of losing one. Anyone that knows me, knows what Boomer meant to me. He was MY first dog. My dad had dogs when I was little but I didn’t live with my dad. I didn’t grow up with dogs in my day to day life. Boomer came right before my divorce started. We picked him up in April,…

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Calm-my New Year Revelation

Calm-my New Year Revelation

I made made the smart decision in my sad state yesterday to see if my life coach was available, luckily she was. She reminded me of something Kris Carr says about life having seasons.  I am in a winter season right now. I’ve planted my seeds, but it’s still to cold for them to grow. I need to have faith that they are planted and that my warmer season will come and my seeds will bloom. I’m in the nestling…

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Sad

Sad

yesterday was a bad multiple sclerosis day. I know those happen too. After my rant I posted, I fell. I’m very grateful I didn’t hurt myself but I’m more grateful that the glass vase that broke wasn’t one of the ones my mom painted. I did break a vase and knocked over a vase that held all the fresh lavender I had still from my sister’s wedding 7 years ago.  The little pieces of lavender ended up all over me…

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Happy tears

Happy tears

Strange thing is been happening of the last couple of months, I cry at so many things. It started probably around the Olympics and I noticed that anytime someone would win a medal and they’d hug their coach or their parents for their teammates, I’d be so happy I’d cry with them.  OK maybe I should just clarify, I don’t cry I tear up. Sometimes just a tear or a couple of tears down the cheek for little bit, I…

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My acceptance is my forgiveness

My acceptance is my forgiveness

Would I rather be right or happy? I can go into the complete injustice of it all. Yell and scream, cry and be sad but in the end I wouldn’t be in a different place just maybe have a few more battle wounds. I sadly have come to the realization that I need to say goodbye to people I care about. I had this whole blog post written but forgot to hit save and ended up losing everything I wrote….

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