Every morning I sit down with my cup of coffee, and I decide what I want to write about.  Today being no different than any other day. Marshmallow, of course the snuggling up next to me, and Zoey’s running rampage through the house. All of a sudden Zoey comes out running out of my daughter’s room  with a sneaker in her mouth. Wish I caught the actual action shot but had to settle for this instead.

I’m up your Social  Security  Disability review. It’s been less than one year. I guess it’s possible if you have a relapse that you recover and you’re able to go back to work but if they’ve read the notes, I’m not that case.  They’ve received 19 years of history. 19 years and MRIs. 19 years of various doctor visits. 19 years of notes. What are they think happened in the last 8 months, a fucking miracle?  Was there a cure that I’m unaware of? Because other than that, I really just can’t understand what I’m missing. I know it’s the job of the bureau, but it’s very frustrating. I got an 18 page documentation to fill out.  I can’t even write it all I have to someone else help me. My hands can’t do all that writing. Last year I was able to do the application over the phone because of my MS. This year I have an entire application. It really makes no sense.

Last year we were so shocked how fast the decision came through. We were prepared for a denial. I’ve heard from countless people that’s how it goes. They immediately deny you and you usually get approved on the appeal. I didn’t get denied. However, here I am now facing a review. Nothing has changed, nothing is better but I’m nervous nonetheless. I’m worried that now they’ll deny and I’ll have to fight. I’m worried that I’ll write something wrong. Both my doctors agree with my disability status but still, you never know and that’s what worries me. I filled out the form and my doctor wants to see it tomorrow at our appointment and that’s that. Whatever happens I’ll have to deal with. Just one more thing on my plate I wish wasn’t there.