I’m happy to report after putting myself to bed at 9pm and sleeping until 9am I’m feeling better. I must say I hit my overwhelmed state yesterday evening. I’m off my routine completely.  I haven’t meditated in four days, I haven’t really worked my course of miracles workbook in two days and yesterday I skipped an exercise day which I haven’t done in months. Let me tell you it makes a difference. School starts again tomorrow for my daughter and the routine of it is important to me. As silly as it sounds the routine of my morning is important in keeping me grounded for the day.

Ive been hating my exercise routine I’ve been doing. It’s been feeling useless. I do it and I do get a sweat but my muscle aren’t sore and I just feel it’s not doing anything. I like to do three days weights and three days so,e sort of cardio. Again cardio is loosely used since my feet can’t move. I definitely sweat but I don’t know how high my heart rate really can get with just moving my arms. It makes exercising frustrating. This is where multiple sclerosis gets to me when I can’t accomplish what I want to accomplish. I have to accept limitations that sometimes I don’t want to accept. That is also part of the MS disease that people don’t realize the mental part.  The part that thinks you still can and then reality sets in and you can’t. Remember the choo choo train going up the hill that said “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can?”  Well I can’t sometimes and no matter how much I will it to be so it doesn’t happen.  That’s why having a good attitude is so crucial because if you sit in that mental state for too long it can definitely affect you. Multiple Sclerosis is what it is.  This is my life, full of challenges and accommodations and trials but I’m still here smiling and laughing. I have good people in my life. I have a wonderful daughter who is a joy to watch grow up. I have a roof over my head my favorite for legged friends right at my side everyday. There is so much love that surrounds my world to dwell in the downside of MS is pointless. It won’t change a thing. Smile today because you can. Laugh today at something funny. Appreciate something today because it’s there. That’s the beauty of life.