A few months ago  there was this sound this clanking sound coming from the refrigerator. I must say I can follow directions put things together, tighten things when they seem loose, make minor repairs but major breakdowns, I’m not your girl. When I heard the clanking I knew it was the compressor or something, but that’s about it. I lowered the temperature of the refrigerator from 5 to 0 for a few minutes turned it back up and sound was gone. I wrote my landlord, who just replaced the stove a week prior, but since the sound stopped nothing was done. Unbeknownst to me, my cleaning girl has been sopping up water collecting on the bottom of the refrigerator every other week since. So I wrote my landlord and my NEW refrigerator comes today between 11:15-2:15. Great….well not so great….

See this is where problems happen. I have multiple sclerosis. Now I have to fully empty my old refrigerator and then put everything away in the new refrigerator. Sounds easy enough but here again is the difference for someone well versus someone not well.  This will not only labor intensive but will require me to stand longer than my legs can stand. It’s wonderful, I’m getting a new refrigerator, but it’s an overwhelming task to clean out and re-stock my new appliance. Did my landlord care? No, I got a text, refrigerator coming tomorrow. Not even the concern if I’d be around, let alone would I need help. I checked the approximate delivery time and I was fortunate that my daughter is still home, but what if she wasn’t? What if this was next year and she is at college? These are things no one thinks of, but the person who has the chronic condition. It seems so inconsequential to you, but it is the story of my life. This little delivery will be my task of the day and it will take all my energy to do it, I will spend the rest of the afternoon recovering. I don’t want pity, but sometimes it’s a pathetic existence. Such a simple task, but it will be my only task I will be able to complete today.  Mind you I’m fortunate that I was about to make a food delivery order so the refrigerator isn’t too packed, see there is a little saving grace.

I guess my point is offer help. Things that seem easy for most people aren’t easy for someone who has a disability. If you know someone with a condition, never assume they are ok, ASK. I’d like to be asked, I’d deny the help, as most of my family and friends know, but I know I have to stop that and accept the help. I think at some point part of having a disability, is not only accepting the disability, but accepting YOU NEED HELP.  That’s something I need to start accepting. I keep denying it and refusing the help of others because I feel bad or guilty, or that I’m a burden or that I’m annoying. However the reality is, I do need help. I can’t do things myself most of the time. I wrote an entire blog on a new refrigerator because I am overwhelmed of the task at hand. I do have help…today. In the future I have to learn to accept or ask for help when I need it. That is the true realization of my reality.