My daughter had a tough week. She is definitely her mother’s daughter picking up some of my own good habits but also some my bad, including negativity. The difference is I work very hard on changing my negative thoughts every day. Sometimes she can’t get out of her own head long enough to see a positive side of anything. It is both frustrating for her as well as those who know her. She asks me all the time how do I change that? I’ve tried to steer her towards every book and motivational teacher that inspired me. Nothing ever works. Yesterday I tried the simplest of forms.
If you want to change your negative thoughts you need to start at Square 1 and that is: become aware of your thoughts. That is the first step. Recognizing when your thoughts are negative. That may happen fifty times a hour or fifty times a minute. You’re not going to stop the thoughts, your just being aware of them. You’re going to be amazed at how many negative thoughts you have and how often.
The next step is to: choose to see things differently. You actually want to say this to yourself. You actually want to tell your mind you want to think differently. You’re not gonna be able to stop all your negative thoughts at this point so when you catch your negative thoughts which are going to be many you just want to stop yourself and say I choose to see this differently.
From this point choose a different thought. If the negative thought was “I feel so fat”, say “I choose to see this differently” and say I’m so proud of myself for sticking to my diet today or I love this color shirt on me or I love the way these jeans feel. You’re just flipping the most simple thought. If it’s a boyfriend who just broke up with you and you’re sad wondering if you’re ever going to be with someone again, when that negative thought comes up choose to honor your sadness and say I wish us both the best and we will find love again.
As I said to my daughter, this doesn’t change in a day, a week, a month, even a year. This will be a practice that you will have to do for the rest of your life but it will get easier. What I can promise you is it will change your life as it’s changed mine. The permanent chip on my shoulder that lived there for 45 years is gone and I am honestly happier now than I’ve ever been. The simple things make me smile because I appreciate them more. The very first step is being aware that’s how you start to change your thoughts. Have a wonderful weekend