This whole hospital episode has put me in a little bit of a depression. I just haven’t been able to shake myself from it but I’m very aware that I’m in it. I don’t know if it is a side effect of the immense amount of antibiotics or if my anti-depressant got messed up last week. I know I ran out and I my prescription was picked up late but I was given them in the hospital. Maybe it just has to go through my system again. Whatever the reason, I haven’t been able to “get my head on straight”, as my mom would say.

I have an appointment tomorrow to see the surgeon who will make the final decision on lancing the cellulitis spot open or leaving it. Right now it’s a hard lump but smaller than it was in the hospital. The area is still warm to the touch. I don’t see any sort of white pus head that they were hoping for by putting warm compresses on every few hours. I’m hoping it doesn’t get lanced and I get cleared to go in the pool again. I think exercising will help clear my head of cobwebs. I need that.

I’ve been trying not to focus on my depression since I don’t want to give fuel to the thoughts. I decided to blog about it because this is my public journal and maybe by airing out my feelings I can lay it to rest. A one time lay it all out thing. I know I am the creator of my thoughts and I have the ability to change my own thinking and thus my mood. This I’ve been studying for over 2 years. I think I just needed this blog post to remind me…you are what you think.