This is one of my favorite lessons from a course in miracles. Lesson number 153. https://acim.org/workbook/lesson-153/ The reason it’s my favorite, because it was the hardest for me to deal with and overcome. I’ve written a couple of blogs on this topic my last one being this one https://multipleexperiences.org/2017/12/21/in-my-defenselessness-my-safety-lies/. Even now three years into a course in miracles, it’s still difficult for me to remember this lesson. I always want to defend myself and defend my actions and it’s a very tough habit to break.
This lesson just came up again the other day. I always smile when it comes up. This year I thought I was doing really well too. I didn’t think I’ve been overly defensive about anything. I haven’t felt the need to attack myself or others go me. Yet I had a dream. In my dream, it was the past. Brought up a past relationship that I would defend and probably still defend in my head to myself. In the dream this person spread a rumor that I was doing drugs and the more I tried to defend myself that I wasn’t, the more people didn’t believe me. Even though this person only was the catalyst and was only in the dream for a split second, I remember In that dream saying to stop defending yourself you’re only making it worse, you know the truth. I just had a feeling of being so judged and attacked.
That’s why we usually defend ourselves. We either feel judged attacked or somehow wronged by somebody else that we need to prove ourselves right. I’ve taken that defensive stance almost my whole life. So concerned with what everybody else thought. Sometimes that’s offensive stance was almost like an admission of guilt because I knew I was wrong but needed to defend my actions anyway. It was always a viscous cycle for me that brought turmoil, disgust and distrust. Who wants that? I’ve learned to accept my actions better now and others actions and not rise to the bait. It’s so much more peaceful not living in anger or defense than where I use to be. It’s simple too, so easy all you have to do is let it go. Would you rather be happy or right that’s the question you need to ask yourself and choose love. ❤️❤️