Dear Multiple Sclerosis, It’s been 18+ years you’ve been in my life. Your like that negative friend I can’t break away from. I’ve written this letter to you before but my life coach has asked me to revisit it because she feels that maybe I wasn’t fully honest in that letter. You see I try to put up a brave face. When the diagnosis came people were devastated around me and I felt I needed to be strong. It wasn’t…
I remember 18+ years ago being at that neurologist office when my entire left side of my body wasn’t functioning. I couldn’t really walk, I had muscle atrophy, numbness, weakness and gait difficulty. The doctor asked if anyone else in my family had MS. He knew before the MRI was even done. I sat crying in a chair as my mom leaned in front of me and said “everything was going to be ok”. We got in the car to…
JI had a nice unexpected guess yesterday in the form of my sister she came over cause she had some time to kill which was really nice to see her. However she told me she couldn’t read my blog lately because it’s been depressing her. I do have to admit it’s been a tough couple of weeks so this one’s for her will be more upbeat because I’m really doing a lot better than I was. There really is something…
OK in my case maybe it’s two days. Yesterday I decided it’s time to put the sadness behind me I put my braces in my sneakers, I put my foot in the sneakers, I tied up my sneakers and I walked out the door. I drove with the braces which was a little difficult but maybe it will take more time or maybe I can’t drive with the braces haven’t decided that one yet. I got to my destination and…
The concept of love replacing fear is a major lesson in a course in miracles. It seems easy enough in some parts of my life but it is increasingly harder in other parts. First is my fear over money. I’m always worried about being able to pay me bills. This is one area that my life coach and I have been working on for a while. I’m trying to retrain my thoughts, manifest abundance and think everyday without the fear….
Wow I was going fast into depression the medicine the braces the $130 for shoes I hated the bad phone call with mom. I just was so upset cried for hours straight. It just compounds on you sometimes but now add steroids into the mix and presto recipe for a bad situation. I can’t believe how bad I felt yesterday I really just wanted to give up something that has never been in my nature. I slept all day today…
A week in my MS world. I already had my rant of distress this week. So far the week has been better but it’s Thursday and I still have a lot going on. If you have MS maybe you’ve heard of the studies of biotin in high dosages that seem to help people with more progressive stages of the disease. This study which was done in the US is still small but larger ones have been done in other countries….
I don’t like to rant. I try to keep my blog in a positive state of mind but sometimes I just am exhausted. I don’t need to do much anymore without suffering the consequences. People who haven’t seen me since the day I left my job would be amazed I would think. I have and continue to get worse. Sometimes my hands get so tired I can’t pick up my fork to eat dinner. My legs not only get tired…
I think it’s happened to most people with disabilities at some point or another that we loose touch with friends as our physical limitations exclude us from activities. Mine happened in two parts. I am one of “those” people that disappear when I’m in a relationship. I know looking back I hurt people because I sided a loyalty with this “loved one” that many of my friends felt wasn’t a good person for me. The problem was I fell in…
