The phone rang at 2:00 am this morning. My phone announces the caller and when it said it said Mikayla, my daughter, my heart stopped. I couldn’t reach my house phone from my bed but I had my cell near and quickly called her. A girl hysterically crying answered the phone, my daughter was not physically hurt but mentally a mess. She’s been having issues with two different groups of friends at school completely unrelated to each other. One set…
I spent many years in denial. I would pretend it was all good until I had a relapse, well at least that’s how I appeared to the outside world. Those closest to me knew me better. They were witnesses to the tears from the shots or those horrible flu-like symptoms I suffered for the first 12 years of my illness. Those shots were a constant reminder to me that I was sick. I was terrified of needles yet I learned…
I say this all the time, you can’t plan for things because you just don’t know. What doesn’t cause problems one day may be a gigantic obstacle the next day. One day you feel fine the next you can’t get out of bed. People around me always say it’s the weather or may say maybe you’re getting sick, I just know it’s the nature of the disease. A good example is when I was playing mahjong. I’ve had issues many…
I had another week where I gained weight on weight watchers for no reason. I was very upset and angry and so I cheated. A lovely cycle. Feeling even worse now I started on a dark path of negative thoughts. I started to google the various surgeries that are out there for overweight people. I even filled out one of the doctors forms for more information. I was turned down because my BMI is too low. I started searching medication…
I had my infusion Friday and today is Tuesday. I woke up not feeling well. I have a bad headache. My body just feels heavy. I am so thankful I had nothing on my schedule because the thought of going out is overwhelming. I’m even taking today as one of my exercise off days because I just can’t. This is the feeling I was concerned with post infusion. Yesterday I felt pretty good although I got very tired very easily….
My daughter had a tough week. She is definitely her mother’s daughter picking up some of my own good habits but also some my bad, including negativity. The difference is I work very hard on changing my negative thoughts every day. Sometimes she can’t get out of her own head long enough to see a positive side of anything. It is both frustrating for her as well as those who know her. She asks me all the time how do…
This week is about being happy in the place you are in today. I wrote a blog this week entitled my life today. https://multipleexperiences.org/2019/01/29/my-life-today/. When I’m writing a blog sometimes I don’t know exactly where my blog is going, the words just flow themselves. This was one of those blogs. I had a comment on the blog from someone that simply said “This blog brought me joy”. My reply was, “me too”. When I was writing the blog about my…
I never thought at the age of 47 this would be my life yet I remember being scared when I was diagnosed of being in a wheelchair. I knew what multiple sclerosis could bring about and I feared that when I hit the 10 year mark everything would go downhill rapidly. That wasn’t the case because there were medication developed that helped to slow down the MS progression and more and more have been developed. My life took on a…
I was on vacation. It was my first vacation, other than Florida with family, in years. You can read about it in any of my past weeks blogs. I had to come back early due to the chance of inclement weather in NY. Inclement weather that as of this morning now looks like rain and not snow. I just couldn’t risk not getting home by our anticipated date of Sunday because my daughter is due back at her school to…
This is one of my favorite lessons from a course in miracles. Lesson number 153. https://acim.org/workbook/lesson-153/ The reason it’s my favorite, because it was the hardest for me to deal with and overcome. I’ve written a couple of blogs on this topic my last one being this one https://multipleexperiences.org/2017/12/21/in-my-defenselessness-my-safety-lies/. Even now three years into a course in miracles, it’s still difficult for me to remember this lesson. I always want to defend myself and defend my actions and it’s a…
