*** this exercise was from a book I read return to love by Marianne Williamson that I did previously when I read it I was recommended again to be done at my life coach so this part of the exercise is the letter that MS writes me in response to the letter I wrote yesterday.

Dear Jamie,

I’ve read your letter and I can hear the pain in your words.  I don’t know why I chose you. I don’t even know why am here. But I too am trying to survive. I was never here to hurt you. I was never here to bring you pain.  I’m functioning the only way that I know how to function. Unfortunately my function seems to be hurting the functioning of your body which is causing you the pain and sadness. It was never my intention  to pick out a specific person, it wasn’t even my intention to pick a person. I am here for unknown reasons as well.  I can’t just leave you and go somewhere else. I have no legs.  I have no arms.  I have no means of transport. My only means of survival is inside of you once I started to grow.  I’m not sure what I am I just know I can’t leave. But please understand this was not something I mentally did to hurt you as a person because I didn’t like you or because I thought you were a bad person.  I’m not trying to get even or to make amends for something that was done wrong in my past by you.  This had nothing to do with you and I really want you to know that. I know that I’m hurting you and I’m so sorry. It is not my intention to hurt or to make life challenging for you.   Somehow I wish we could just live together copacetic like if we can’t be friends.  I see I can never bring you peace or make your life easy but I also see I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. This was not a personal attack on Jamie. This was not me taking someone I just wanted to hurt or I wanted to pick on and make their life miserable. I don’t know how I got here. I don’t know why we were  brought together. But we are together and we need to somehow understand each other better. I am so sorry for the difficulty I cause.   Just know you weren’t picked because I wanted you to hurt because I wanted to get even and hurt Jamie. Please understand that you didn’t do anything wrong you’re not guilty not getting even with you for anything. If this is just where I ended up. I’m so sorry again.

love,

multiple sclerosis