It’s amazing how a day can turn. There comes a point in the evening with multiple sclerosis my body just has enough. My daughter has learned this point well over the years. It’s when she asks me a question or tells me she needs something at 8-9 at night but my mind and body is fond and shut down. Instead of responding like a normal human being I loose my marbles on her. That happened a little early last night and it coincided with my puppy’s witching hour. I cooked last night which makes me tired, legs and arms. Both of my dogs have Giardia and are both on medicine. However my 8 year old Frechie Marshmellow isn’t eating well. I tried to feed him his normal food, no such luck. I made rice and he ate that but he wouldn’t eat the pineapple. We are feeding both dogs pineapple because Zoey (puppy) is eating poop (eeeewwww gross). It’s supposed to help. After dinner I was going to try to sit to regain some of my strength. Well THAT didn’t happen. First Zoey peed next to the pee pad not on it, so I had to get up to clean it. Then a few seconds later she poops, the right spot, but because of the Giardia it has to be cleaned and bleached right away . Up again cleaning. By this time the fatigue that is hitting my legs is causing me to not be able to stand up straight.

Marshy got sick next. The Giardia is causing him to not eat well and throw up. I got him to eat that rice but within the hour he threw it up. I got up cleaned it up. While I was cleaning Zoey’s poop, Marshy threw up again. Once again I was up and cleaning but now my limit was reached and I started yelling, not at the dogs, not really at anyone because I was alone, but loud enough where I scared Marshmellow and he ran and hid under my bed. While I was cleaning Marshys throw up I attached Zoey and her leash on the chair. I went to my bedroom to my poor Marshmellow that was hiding and started to sob. I love Zoey but I can’t get her well, now she got Marshy sick because I wasn’t careful enough and I lost Boomer in the middle of all this and I just cried and cried. My marshy came out from under the bed and I cuddled him pulled myself together and went to hopefully sit down again. There was poor Zoey completely wrapped around the chair on the leash almost chocking herself it was pulling so tight. The tears came in buckets as I unwrapped her realizing she could have strangled herself. As quick as all the events happened they ended everyone jumped on the couch and cuddled together and fell asleep. I continued to cry a little while long realizing I love my dogs I just want everyone better. Giardia is the most common parasite in the world and even humans get it. They will be fine, I just was at that point last night I couldn’t do more. That MS level I couldn’t function but I had no choice and no help.  That is an aspect of multiple sclerosis you’ll never see in a textbook or hear about. It the exhaustion point where you literally have nothing left. Your reason has gone out the window because your in such a state of fatigue you can’t think. It becomes a very irrational moment of time. It’s horrible and even as I’m writing this I remember the feeling of being helpless, alone and exhausted. It’s a feeling I’ve experienced many times over the years in different situations. It’s past the point of no return until I can sleep or rest.  Horrible aspect of MS.