First I want to thank everybody. I had a lot of support from a lot of people and I can’t say how much it meant to me. There were a few contributing factors that went into yesterday that I wanted to explain.
First was my mood. I was very stressed over an email I got the night before about my daughters housing for college. Her housing agreement had to be signed and returned to the school within five days or you would lose the spot. I found out on last Friday, that everything I’ve done and everything that I’ve been working on for her disability, only was going to cover tuition. Room and board was on us. Her college offered no grants because technically even though this dorm structure was owned by the college, it really wasn’t part of the college. It still makes no sense to me even as I’m writing this. Anyway, I had to call my ex-husband. Unfortunately, as I expected, he didn’t have the money. I know what our divorce agreement says, I tried to explain that fact, but what could you do when someone doesn’t have the money? I have even less money. And now I needed to talk to my mother and my step dad and say, what do I do? They were on vacation. I had to wrecked their vacation to bring up this topic because I have five days to agree or disagree with the housing agreement. I was stressed out, nervous, upset, scared, and emotional and all this on top the MS, on top of my other issues, put me in a little bit of trouble yesterday morning.
My tendonitis in my left shoulder has been so severe. I wasn’t sleeping. I was so uncomfortable. I was in so much pain. I was so busy trying to avoid using my left arm that I started hurting my right arm. I was taking extra baclofen hoping to reduce the inflammation going on in my arm but it wasn’t helping. I needed another Cortisone shot, but I can’t get one until June (my insurance will only approve one every 3 months, last one was March). I was taking aspirin around the clock which would work, but would wear off and at night that caused more issues. On Sunday, I decided to try an extra Neurontin/Gabapentin to see if it would help. My thinking was maybe the tendonitis was mixing with some neuropathy pain due to my MS. I went straight to my 400 mg because I knew my 100 mg would do nothing. To my surprise and relief, it took some of the pain away. However it made me slightly loopy. I tried an extra one at night and I actually slept for a long stretch of time. It was the first time in a week. I did call the doctor, and they’re trying to find another drug, that my insurance will approve, that might help me until I can get the Cortizone shot again. Right now the only thing that’s working is the Neurontin/Gabapentin. Well guess what, that too has side effects. Even though Ive been taking 400 mg everyday for months, the increase gave me side effects. I’m tired, a little dizzy, loopy basically I feel the haze of being drugged. HOWEVER other side efforts of Neurontin/Gabapentin Are clumsiness or unsteadiness and lack of strength. I can’t say that the Neurontin didn’t have something to do with what happened yesterday. I can say that this has happened before. I haven’t admitted it to many people or any people probably, but I have been on the floor where I couldn’t get up right away before the increase of Neurontin/gabapentin. This wasn’t the first episode however this was the first severe episode.
Of course the final issue in this whole story was the tendonitis. My shoulder is killing me. I couldn’t put the pressure down on my arm to push myself up. I couldn’t put my arm behind me because of the pain in my shoulder. That was a big contributing factor yesterday. Is this the tendonitis, the Neurontin/Gabapentin, stress or maybe it’s just worsening of my MS symptoms, I don’t know. My physical therapist said “he’s seen this a lot in MS patients that the change of the seasons, the body needs time to “catch up” or it could just be the nature of the beast, only time will tell”.