I’m very proud of myself, I haven’t stepped on the scale in a month. Today for this post, I stepped on. My weight 150.3.  Technically, I am down 2lbs from a month ago, but my body usually hovers around the 150.0 mark naturally. For clarification purposes. I am 5’2″ so according to the charts, I am overweight. I am a size 8 in jeans, even own some 6 and some 10. I decided a month ago I had enough of judging myself by a number on the scale. This is my list of a few things new over the last month:

1. I gave up the scale for a month. With that I also gave up the permission to be bad because the scale number was low or be strict because the scale number was high. By giving up the scale, I let go of a weight number dictating my mood and eating habits for the day.
2. I gave up my bakery vegan cookies. I made the decision that if I was going to have cookies, I’d make them so I could control not only the amount of sugar in the recipe but the type of sugar used. I have not made any cookies yet but I do have my delicious recipe for cookies when I am ready.
3. I got dressed everyday. I put on clothes other than my lounge wear. I wore clothes that I can feel my body in. Not that had room to expand. A promise I made to myself when I stopped working but got harder for me to do by myself. Now that I have an aide, I have no excuse.
4. I put on makeup most days. I’ve always worn simple makeup. I put on my everstay lipstick and either eyeliner or mascara and that’s usually it. It just brightens my face and makes me feel better.
5. I’ve added, in my morning mantras, my body is healthy, my body is thin and it is. Despite multiple sclerosis and weight, I am thin, I am healthy. There is no but, there is no almost there is no when, I AM!!! This is something I believe without question.
6. When I wanted something, I ate something. I stopped being guilty over it. My new kick is Sprouted Pretzel Shells by Unique. I love them. Eating them all the time. I don’t use proper portion control with them and guess what…OH WELL…it’s ok. I know how my kicks work and I’ll get over them and not want them anymore eventually. I’m good with everything else so it’s ok for me to have my vice.
7. I stopped buying processed vegan foods like pita chips or even hummus. I can make those items easy enough and healthier. If I want it, I can make it. 9 times out of 10, I don’t even want it. I eat it because it is easy.
8. I made sure my refrigerator had foods I like. It is when I don’t have food in the house or nothing is cooked ready to eat, I get lazy and cheat. Now I was smarter and made sure food and fruits were stocked and restocked often.

My my perception of a number on the scale needed to change primarily. The second thing is my body image perception. It is these two things that made me put away the scale. Once again I’m putting it away. I’m trusting my clothes and my mirror regarding my weight. I’m trusting my mind regarding perception.