My dad and I were talking about me having multiple sclerosis. He was saying it wasn’t fair, I have a good heart. My first words were I still have a good heart, that hasn’t changed but I knew what he meant. I heard this before from him, from my mom, my stepdad, from most of my family. They look at multiple sclerosis “stealing” away part of my life. I’ve discussed this topic a few times in my blogs.
It is so difficult for my parents to be witness to my disease. Even though I’m the one dealing with the symptoms daily, they live with the stories daily. I have had the disease for 19+ years. It’s a long time. It’s running its course and it isn’t great, for me. My parents have had the front row seat for the progression and for them it’s heartbreaking. It is me that sees the positive side because I have to, it’s my life. They don’t!!! They can just see it as unfair, unjust and the thief that stole away part of their daughters life.
I never saw MS as a theif. I’ve come to terms with it on different levels. I’m not saying I never get upset, depressed or scared, but I’ve learned I can’t live my life in that dark place. It just doesn’t work for me. As I’ve said to my stepdad once and my dad, my life isn’t so bad. If this is the worst the MS gets, I can live with that. Unfortunately, I still haven’t hit that stable mark yet. However, we keep trying and we just changed my medicine to Ocrevus for that reason.
My parents and my whole family love me and I am so lucky to have such a wonderful support system with them. I have a beautiful, sweet, amazing and kind daughter about to go to college. I have my 2 mushy, cuddly dogs I love. I have wonderful friends. Now I’m even starting to look for a place of my own to move to. I honestly can’t complain. I think I’m very lucky to have so much.