My first social outing since March I was having dinner at my mom and stepdad’s house. It was the first time I was seeing my mom since a quick drive by in the beginning of April. It was the first time I was seeing my sister and brother-in-law since February. We were all getting together to celebrate my daughter’s 21st birthday which is on Wednesday. We were having dinner outside. She has a beautiful backyard but definitely has challenges for someone in a wheelchair. Yet we managed and got me to the table. That’s when the belly started.
I was fine all day, maybe a little gassey but fine. The second I get settled at the table, my body doesn’t cooperate. Now we had to get me inside. Again not without its challenges even with all the ramps. Unfortunately, my body never gives me much time and maneuvering into the house took more time than I had. First night, celebrating my daughter, even wearing brand new jeans and I had an accident. I didn’t make it in time. Talk about horrifying.
I was with my family and this is my disease but the one time I go out this is what had to happen. This time I wasn’t able to stay so positive and I broke down in tears. It was so unfair. MS is so unfair. It is a difficult disease and it takes away some of the most basic things that makes you feel normal and human. My mom was wiping my tush last night. At 48 life doesn’t get more demoralizing than that. I understand when a parent gets older and a kid has to do it because of dementia, that makes sense. At 48 with full mental capacity that is a tough one to take. You would think that was the worst part but it still wasn’t. My mom had to lend me bloomers and pants. I really say bloomers because that is what people my mom’s age wears. She is also somewhat bigger than me so the clothes were extremely big. A situation that would be quite humorous in a different circumstance.
I did my best to shake it off and enjoy the night for my family and especially my daughter. My family is very good with understanding and empathy and mostly not replaying the evenings events. We had a lovely night but I was drained. I was thrill to go home. I was more happy to be in my own clothes. However my night wasn’t over at being horrible. My shirt got caught on my wheelchair controls and I slammed into my mirror door.
At that point I just shook my head and went to bed. I was done for the night.
I tell these embarrassing and horrible stories for anyone else. Who might have a bad multiple sclerosis day. It is a tough disease and sometimes you just can’t smile your way through every moment. That’s ok, you aren’t alone. However, those bad days do pass and you do get through them. That’s the lesson to take away. You can smile again tomorrow.