Started physical therapy this week. Last time I did physical therapy for my multiple sclerosis was during my very first attack almost 19 years ago. Why? Insurance co-pays.  I could never afford the co-pay to go to physical therapy twice a week, hell I couldn’t afford the co-pay once a week.  I was working full time and was getting buried by my co-pay medical bills.  I have multiple sclerosis so of course all my doctors are specialists which had the higher co-pay. I was on all the expensive drugs so even my prescription co-pays were killing me each month.  Then one year they amended that all drugs for cancer, MS, Crohn’s and other chronic illness now carry a $200 a month co-pay.  Can you imagine? I was working and wasn’t even able to make my bills each month. Not because I was out spending on frivolous things but because of the out-of-pocket cost of my healthcare. It was crazy. It’s been almost 19 years that I’ve been able to do physical therapy. Who knows how that could have made a difference over the years to help my walking and gait. My doctor wanted me to go many times over the years but I knew that I’d never be able to afford.  What a shame to think about that maybe I might be in better shape because I went all those times. Maybe I’d have learned how to compensate my gait and walking difficulty different that would be more beneficial to me now. Maybe I’d have less issues now because I went throughout the years.  I guess we will never know.

Today I’m on government assistance and disability.  The new president elect puts fear into my heart on changes he’d like to make to those systems.  I’m not going into a Trump/Clinton debate here, I’m strictly talking about healthcare.  I’ve never been one to take advantage of my disease or services I get because of the disease.  Now that I’m on disability, without the government healthcare I not only have no healthcare but I don’t bring in anywhere near enough money to pay for it.  That is my fear that the changes to healthcare will somehow effect me. I know it will effect my daughter. She is on government healthcare as well but different then mine, hers is because of Obamacare. What is going to happen to her? She’ll be 18 in college, she can’t pay for healthcare premiums, I can’t pay her premium and her father lives out of state his insurance won’t cover.  It’s very scary.  I don’t want to go backwards and live how I was living for so many years strangled by my healthcare and my daughter who is deaf with cochlear implants can’t be uncovered either. I pray for the peace of mind over this issue and for everyone else in the same situation. I pray that it remains covered for all of us in need of it. I pray for the healing in all hearts that are feeling fear not love right now in the country.