That’s ok I’m happy

That’s ok I’m happy

imageI dropped my $100 Aria scale yesterday which shattered on the floor into a million pieces because of my hands with ataxia but that’s ok I’m happy.

I stepped on my old Aria scale I have to find out I’m currently up 8lbs so I need to reign that in really fast but that’s ok I’m happy.

I went to physical therapy this morning and I’m a little wiped out and it’s only 11:00am but that’s ok I’m happy.

I’m calling my 3rd party pooled trust for the 5th time this month for problems with checks they cut. One was for the wrong amount and one was never received by the payee. I’ve been on hold for over 25 minutes already. That’s ok I’m happy.

My daughter loved John Jay college and when we checked on the application status it said waiting on transcript and ACT information, both of which was sent over two weeks ago.  Her school is resending the transcript but I need to call the ACT department which is very difficult to reach. That will take me over an hour to get through to them just to be in the que to speak to someone. That’s ok I’m happy

i ended up going to an urgent care yesterday because I’ve been having problems with my arm/shoulder. I don’t know what I did to it but it only really hurts if I am pushing off with it behind me or when I am sleeping. However it’s been waking me up for a few weeks now because I’m in pain in the middle of the night. The other night I woke up and I couldn’t move my arm AT ALL  I seem to have locked it or it was out of the socket somehow because finally I felt a pop and I could move it again but I was extremely sore.  The doctor checked to make sure that it was in the socket correctly and looked for bruising swelling or any other sign of trauma that is causing this pain in my arm. There was nothing apparent he feels it is a tendonitis inflammation. That because I put so much pressure on my arms even with my walker it’s never really having time to heal  unfortunately other than Motrin, Aleve or baclofen (thank you MS for giving me a surplus of this) not much can be done. So far I’m still waking up in agony each night but that’s ok I’m happy.

i realized I may not have energy anymore to put into dating, meeting and holding a relationship with a man.  There is a very good chance that my future is alone. Sex doesn’t mean much to me anyway. I lost most of the feeling and even when I had it it was still a take it or leave it event. My partners weren’t the most loving and caring the intimacy that I search for from sex I never received from them. That’s ok I’m happy.

Why am I happy? I’m grateful for all the things around me.  My heart remembers the good of those people that are gone from my life and the people that remain are good souls. I’m greeted everyday by the sweetest most loving dogs who unconditionally love me and are so genuinely happy to see me they fill me with happiness. My beautiful  loving daughter was beaming yesterday visiting a college that I really think she’ll have no issue getting into and is so excited to start the next chapter of her life.  My family is amazing, all of them, they are supportive and loving and just wonderful people. I can’t thank them enough every last one from the blood relations to the marriage relations to the extended of the married to the ones who aren’t technically family but are loved just as much. I have every reason to be happy and everything else is just nuisances. I’m ok because I’m happy.


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