It’s a dreary day today. It’s raining outside. My apartments all dark except for the light of my iPad. That’s OK, I don’t have much going on except for packing. I’ve been talking so much about my new place I haven’t talked much about MS. I finally was able to see my physical therapist  to get some exercises for when I fall and there’s nothing around me to help me get up. I’m on the physical therapy maintenance program so I don’t always see the actual therapist. I go on the off days. I don’t like to be in the gym when it’s busy because people are in my way and I can’t get to the machines I want. Anyway, I finally saw him yesterday.

I basically told him what was happening. I explained that if I’m tired when I fall or if I’m on the floor just getting something, out of the cabinet, and there’s nothing around to really assist me to get back up, I can’t get back up. And unfortunately his response was the same as my MS fitness coach, it’s not gonna get better. It’s  my hip flexors and unfortunately we have to come up with new ways to do it. Certainly change my mood yesterday. With every challenge you face with MS, you take it with stride, you do what you can. Sometimes it’s so frustrating when you know it’s just going to get worse and there’s nothing you can do about it.  It is so hard to keep that positive voice in your head and in your heart. The exercises he gave me didn’t help the matter because they were simple, yet so hard for me.

The first exercise I had to crawl on my hands and knees, like a baby does, forward and back five times. If I didn’t collapse from my arms fatiguing during a lap, then my therapist had to move my legs backwards and forwards for me as my entire body was fatigued. It was on its own level embarrassing, humbling and disheartening all at once. Why I had to do this? So I can crawl when I fall to a spot that I can leverage myself to get up from. The second was to push up from my knees using a table but not using my arms, using my hips, glutes and quads. Think of it like a mini push-up without using your arms to push. It was bending down and thrusting up, for lack of a better word. Three sets of ten. I collapsed in the middle of the last set and I was done for the day.

It took me most of the day to recover from therapy yesterday. Minimum of three hours before I could move to get anything done. I was completely exhausted in every ounce of every muscle. It was rough. Sometimes I just can’t be that happy go lucky positive person because MS, sucks. However, i did recover and I’m grateful for a wonderful evening shopping with my mom and step dad. I’m grateful for my scooter which let me do the night with ease.