Did I ever make a post for part one? Not even sure. But I know I’ve had a lot of posts about dating and here’s another one. I’m going on a date today actually in a couple hours but this one I’m looking forward to.  This is a gentleman from match.com. He actually reminds me of a good friend of mine that I met on match.com probably nine years ago already. We went on one date to a Paul McCartney concert. We had a blast we never kissed nothing, and we remained friends all these years. Our personalities are very very similar which is probably why we could never have dated but why would we definitely need to be friends. What’s even stranger is he was a pharmaceutical rep that became in the MS division and actually help me become a speaker for one of my drugs earning me a little extra cash.  The guy I am going out with just reminds me of him. He has that same sarcastic wit very similar to mine so regardless I know I’ll have a good time on the date regardless how it turns out. Those dates I always feel much better with.

Have once again been pretty popular recently. Except this time it’s on match.com which is so strange. I haven’t talk to someone on match.com probably in the last month. In one day I had six people contact me probably about seven people like me and another 4 or 5 like pictures of mine. That is high traffic for Match.com. Still contending with the nut jobs on plenty of fish but I have at least four people on that and I’m talking to as well. However those people weed themselves out much faster.  I know that on some of these people that I’m really like “why are you writing me”,  I replied I have MS almost to sabotage myself with them for some reason. Sometimes I do it if I think they’re too cocky or if I think they’re way too good looking but I do notice a pattern of when I write it. Got a look into that one.  I’m doing it because I feel possibly with my MS I’m not good enough. That’s why need to look into it. Because even though I’m dating with the disease of course I’m good enough. I’m a really nice person, I’m pretty, I’m funny and I do have a lot to offer and I am the one who cuts my self worth down.   I get a lot of activity there’s no reason to cut myself down but I do. I do it often. In all honesty I know somewhere in the back of my mind even going on this date there’s something saying “Oh, he might not realize that I’m this bad” or “it might be too much for him” or God for bid I actually trip.  Dating with MS is tough. And these guys all know before I go on the date that I have it I never lie because I can’t anymore but I’m still scared every time. I’m scared I’m not gonna be good enough. And that’s the real truth. I’m happy for this guy because I just feel  like no matter what this guys gonna be a friend at the end of all this if not a boyfriend and I’m all right with that I’m going to have a good time with him and not all guys are like that. Most of the time when I go on these dates does the thoughts that race through my mind enter. And that’s pretty horrible. And even though I know I have much more to say and it’s not complete I really have to go get ready so I’m gonna cut this short but I’ll write back after the date.

UPDATE date started at 1pm and it’s 5:38 and we are still here. I’d say this has been a good date. 7:08 still here on date