I had another week where I gained weight on weight watchers for no reason. I was very upset and angry and so I cheated. A lovely cycle. Feeling even worse now I started on a dark path of negative thoughts. I started to google the various surgeries that are out there for overweight people. I even filled out one of the doctors forms for more information. I was turned down because my BMI is too low. I started searching medication on the market. I was going dark and ugly really fast.

All of a sudden I snapped my head up and said “I choose to see this differently, I choose to see my weight differently, I ask the universe for help.” This statement is something I learned from my spiritual journey to get out of my own head and choose to think other thoughts. Gabby Bernstein, who I love and have done a lot of training with, has a technique that you put on a rubber band on your wrist and when that negative thought starts to creep in, snap the band and repeat that statement, “I choose to see this differently, I ask the universe for help to see this differently”. Knowing I needed help I got up and put on that band but instead I put on a tight rubber band bracelet I got from my good friend in Canada. Makes me think good thoughts because I also think of her.

Wait, this story still gets better. I talk to my life coach a little less now because I got my daughter to start talking to her and she speaks to her every week. I can’t afford both of us, in all honesty, so I talk to her once a month now for myself. That’s ok, I’ve come far and my daughter is doing really well with her. Well remember the second part of the statement is ask the universe for help. I’m on my house phone with my daughter and I must of hit something on my cellphone. It was dialing my life coach. So I cancelled. Not thinking anything of it, she texts me I got a missed FaceTime call from you is everything ok? Understand 1) I have never called her in the 3 years I’ve been talking to her and 2) she isn’t the top of any alphabet list in my contacts she is in the middle of the library after you scroll down. So basically hitting her number was random and bizarre. I could have by accidentally dialed anyone but the universe gave me her. I told her via text what happened and scheduled a time to talk and she sent me back another great prayer from another mentor of mine Marianne Williamson https://m.facebook.com/williamsonmarianne/posts/10156161990600580

DECLARATION OF SELF-ACCEPTANCE

I will not judge myself

or degrade myself.

I will not blame myself for mistakes I made,

but atone and have mercy on myself

as I know God has mercy upon me.

I will not compare myself to others,

for I know God made me who I am for His purposes.

I will not put myself down,

for in doing so I put down God’s creation.

I know that as I am kinder to myself,

I will have more capacity for kindness to others

and they in turn will be kinder to me.

I will be easier on myself

than I have tended to be,

for no one knows more than I do

the pain that I have been through.

I realize that to love myself

is to love as God loves,

for He loves the world

and that includes me.

Amen

As far as me accepting myself it is always a work in progress but I choose to see it differently ?