I have to do bloodwork this morning. You think I’d be a lot less needle phobic with the amount of shots I’ve received over the years but I’m really not. I’ve from the earliest medicine for MS. I’ve been on Avonex, Betaseron, Rebif and even Copaxone. These are all medicines that required weekly or even daily shots that I had to learn to administer myself. For the first 12 years of my journey I had to do these. When Gilenya came along in 2011 with an oral pill I couldn’t care less if it worked better or not, I was done with needles.

I think it was the steroids at least twice a year for so many relapses that kept my fear of needles alive. My veins are difficult especially when starting an IV. They are deeper than expected, roll, collapse and even have scar tissue in spots. To this day when it is time for my MS medicine, which is every 6 months, the nurse has a difficult time finding the vein. It isn’t unusual for me to be stuck 3 sometimes more times until it is successful. It becomes a little bit of an emotional ordeal for me as you can imagine. Thankfully Rituxan is only given every 6 months and it is a one day thing. It is worse keeping the stint in my hand for the four days of steroids.

Bloodwork is usually easier because they go in by my elbow which is a good vein. This works for a quick blood pull but not for an IV. The line bends at the elbow and that won’t hold. However i still can’t look at the needle or watch it go in. I just say my silent prayer they get me at the first stick. I’m better with these needles in the sense I don’t cry anymore or have anxiety, that’s what 21 years with MS will do for you but I still don’t like them.