I wasn’t sure each day what I would blog about. I’d let the thought come out during my meditation. Even then, I wasn’t sure what I was going to say. I have to say I surprised myself by the end. This is what I realized…
- The only person that thinks I’m less than is me. I am truly my harshest critic and I’m not very nice about it either. I’m actually mean to myself in my critiques.
- I’m always looking at myself solely on my outer appearance. It’s a very vain way to look at oneself. I’m only critiquing appearance nothing else. It’s superficial and is by no means any indication of who I am as a person.
- No one cares. The people in my life who love me aren’t loving me because I’m fat or thin, because my hair is blond or black or because I’m wearing Chanel or a sweatshirt. People love you for who you are not an outside appearance. If they are looking for an outside appearance, run away.
- I’m doing all the right things. Sometimes things are out of your control. I don’t know why I’m gaining weight but I’m going to see another doctor for it (made that decision). In the meantime, I’m exercising, eating right and taking my medicine. I’m tracking my food to make sure I’m in weight watchers guidelines. I’m following the OMS diet. These are all the right steps. I can’t do more than that.
- My body does so much. It’s amazing what my body has been through over the last 20 years with MS. Yet, every morning I get up to fight another day. I never gave credit to the body and all it does. All it does and all it gave me.
- I definitely continue to push my body. In the last 20 years fighting MS, I have repeatedly pushed myself to the breaking point over and over. My doctors have said all that refusing to give up and pushing has probably been what’s kept me still standing after 20 years. Your body is an amazing machine, mine is absolutely remarkable.
- I love myself. This was a big realization with the acceptance blog and looking in the mirror. The mirror can show the outside but if you look long and hard enough, you’ll hopefully see the real inside too. I’m a good person with a huge heart. I love my family, friends and dogs. I have an honest soul and I’m a loyal person. I love who I am way past a few extra pounds of weight.
The challenge was a great eye opener to me. I’ve bought a bunch of new jeans some in a bigger size, some not, but all more comfortable for where I am. I gave away a bunch of old jeans i just wasn’t wearing. I just feel a little better when I look in the mirror. I can’t say it will last forever but it’s a start.