I am happy to be home. I slept a lot over the weekend. I was so tired, still am. This morning will be my first day back in the pool. I was happy to be back. Was able to do my 25 laps. I like routine and I’ve noticed that I get anxiety when I’m out of routine. I get major anxiety packing to go away which completely affects all my MS symptoms. Every time I go away somewhere, no matter where it is, the anxiety of it plays havoc on my MS. I don’t know why because I’m always happy to go on vacation except I miss my dogs. I think I just noticed it and put two and two together with the episode that happened this last time before this vacation. https://multipleexperiences.org/2018/10/19/im-getting-tired-of-fighting/. Truth is I was ready to really just go into a scooter at that moment but I’m not there completely yet. I’m still okay with the walker in small distances and prefer to be on my feet. I was just in an anxiety attack. Who knew?

MS can cause significant anxiety, distress anger, and frustration from the moment of its very first symptoms. … In fact, anxiety is at least as common in MS as depression. Loss of functions and altered life circumstances caused by the disease can be significant causes of anxiety and distress. https://www.nationalmssociety.org/Symptoms-Diagnosis/MS-Symptoms/Emotional-Changes

My anxiety appears in every one of my everyday symptoms. Making it 100x worse than a normal day. I should know this stuff. I know anxiety and depression signs but I didn’t see it. I know I need to be much more aware now. I need to not pack the day before as I always do and always have. I need to take my time to be more organized and to slow it down. I always have packing lists so that will continue. I also need to ask for help. Hopefully next time I could alleviate some of the anxiety. I for now am back into my normal routine which is much more comfortable. I won’t be on vacation again until January. I will put my own tips into use then.