I’ve said many times that I start to write my blog with one idea and it goes a completely different way. Sometimes the blog writes itself. This is what happened yesterday Summer heat hibernation and my own multiple sclerosis realization. I certainly wasn’t planning on addressing the idea of more aid hours. I’ve pushed back on this, against my family’s concerns, because I need some alone time. It’s probably why I never have a problem being home. I’m with someone else 5 days a week, 8 hours a day. I mean do you want to take home your coworkers at the end of your shift? That’s how it can feel. I love my aid but I’m thrilled when she leaves and my house is quiet. It’s my alone time. I’m only up for maybe a maximum of 5 hours from the time she leaves. Most of my awake time is spent with an aid. I just don’t want to give anymore of my “me” time. Does that make sense? I’m not doing anything kinky or watching anything taboo but I also not having to make conversation. I don’t have to be concerned with another person in my home.

I’m 48 years old. I am a fall risk. I have had too many times when I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. I have a medalert and the Apple Watch. I have the right systems in place if there is an emergency. I have not used them as of this moment. I am still too determined to do things myself. It is not easy having multiple sclerosis. I’m getting worse. I know this fact better than anyone. I’m just not ready for more aid supervision.

My new wheelchair is being picked up in 2 weeks. We added another big feature that allows the chair to go up and down as well as all the other things this one can do. I need to see how I transfer with the new chair before I make any decisions. My daughter is also around, for now. Once again I am putting this on the back burner. I’m just not ready to give up any more of my personal time.