Good morning. Happy Monday. I’m not sure why I care if it’s a Monday, Tuesday or a Saturday. My day doesn’t vary all that much I need to keep track of the days of the week so I appear at the right activity planned. I mean Monday morning at 9am is occupational therapy. I’d prefer not to answer the door in a nightgown with bad breath. However, I’m sure I will one day sleep late convinced I didn’t need to set an alarm. I’ll just use the blanket excuse, I have MS, it usually works for most situations.
So I have a question for my chronic illness friends. Do you feel momentarily anxious when in a loud or hectic place? I also get anxious when I’m doing things out of my normal routine. When I went out for dinner on Wednesday night I had a tiny meltdown getting ready. I was tired and had to get dressed, do my makeup and hair. I just got this nervous anxiety and really didn’t want to go. I was overwhelmed by the idea knowing that it was going to be a long evening. I got myself all worked up before I even left the house. It took me the car trip to dinner to finally relax I was just overwhelmed once again walking into the restaurant and my nieces running over with my sister cheering. I had to use the bathroom and that escape for a few minutes was all I needed. It’s so silly because I love my family. They are my favorite people. I just need a second to regroup in an unfamiliar setting or something. I was fine the rest of the evening and a beautiful evening it was.
Thanksgiving was the same issue. I get overwhelmed by things being loud and hectic. We were by me. No where else I feel more comfortable. I hate not being able to help in my own home. I hate when I’m the one in the way. I hate when I’m trying to say something and no one hears me because it’s too loud. When the volume raises up because everyone is talking over each other it makes me so anxious. I don’t know why. When my dogs are involved in the chaos and noise I get even more antsy. Especially if no one’s paying attention and the dog gets something they shouldn’t. TV playing, kids laughing, people talking and I’m on my comfy chair withdrawing. I just shutdown sometimes. It is too much for me. Usually I shutdown in these situation because I am also tired and I just don’t have the bandwidth to deal. That was thanksgiving. I love my family and love hearing my nieces and nephew laugh, I just had a tank on empty. My coping mechanism was severely inadequate. It results in a feeling of anxiety. Once again I can say it was a beautiful evening. The antsy feeling was only during certain points in the night. It is not a prolonged feeling. I don’t even know if anxiety is the right word.
I don’t have panic attacks. I don’t have anxiety daily. I feel like I get this way when things are maybe out of my control. I like the quiet, predictability of my life. There is comfort there for me. I guess this goes into my post about planning everything the other day. https://multipleexperiences.org/2021/11/24/how-do-you-feel/. I was wondering if anyone else feels this way? Drop me a comment.