I am still dealing with all the little things, but I’m not as down as I was writing Monday’s blog. I can report that there is still areas I’m making improvements. Tuesday I was actually able to get up from sitting on the toilet seat. It was a “dry run” exercise with my occupational therapist. I was actually able to get up twice. I didn’t even use that seat that goes over the bowl to raise you up. I was actually on my toilet. This was something I wasn’t even remotely able to do a few months ago. We even followed up this monumental feat doing squats. I was able to do 11. 5 of them were barely a squat, if you want my honest opinion. I really couldn’t do a serious deep bend. Last year I easily was completing 30 deep squats. My goal was trying to only hold onto the bar with one hand. Following those squats I would do 30 wall push-ups. This was a far cry from that but it was still an improvement from where I was. I’m supposed to be happy still having improvement and I am. I just can’t see me ever having enough energy to get up and down that many times to be able to use the toilet as I once did. I actually spoke with my neurologist today. I explained it like this, “I always knew my MS would eventually reach this point. It’s just this hospitalization sped up the process by at least a year or two. I didn’t have the time to gradually adjust to the ongoing disability. I instead had to fight like hell to rebuild my body.” I didn’t have a relapse. I got sick with pneumonia.
However, despite these feelings and small victories, I still had a really good reason to be cheery. I got to see my older sister and one of my nieces. I haven’t seen my sister since my uncle’s funeral. That was far from a place where we could be centered on being together. My niece I haven’t seen since I first got home from the hospital. I was happy to see them. I got cuddle time with each of them. We even cuddled as a trio. It is such a good feeling to just lay next to my sister. We have actually done this since we were kids, when we weren’t fighting. My sister was always a snuggler. If she was in my bed or I came to hers, she always had her head on my shoulder and her hand wrapped in mine. There is an instant comfort I get with my sister. An instant peaceful feeling of love for the person who I have known my whole life. She lived through the same family dynamic as me. A common ground that had many unsettling moments as kids. Yet as adults, have become stories we have laughed about because they were both unbelievable and ridiculous. One day I wrote a blog about being closer with my sister. It was still at the beginning of my spiritual journey. I never imagined how close we would get as my attitude in life changed. It did change, we got so much closer. Than I got sick. She was the first person I spoke to every morning. Since than, if we don’t speak, she’s certainly my first text. She had a line in her speech at my wedding that said “we went from mandatory sisters to voluntary best friends.” Great line!!! I don’t think that it was 100% true back then, but it certainly is now. That is how I closed my Tuesday night. Feeling love for my family. ALL MY FAMILY, it just started with today’s visit.