This is me, raw, no makeup, in my pjs, I may have brushed my hair. This is my blog. This is my journey. However, I always hope that I help someone. I hope somebody can relate to this. I hope I can connect. But in the end I write for me. Today this blog is about me. Today I’m setting forth my intentions in a contract to myself.  I wrote a blog not too long ago that me and my issues with the scale. https://multipleexperiences.org/2017/05/17/i-have-issues/ This is the connection in case you want to read it. I was right, my old scale was broken and I got the new scale yesterday.  Truth was, even though I was upset when I stepped on the new scale, I really knew deep down something wasn’t right. My weight wasn’t as low as the scale kept telling me. I could feel it in my jeans. I kept telling myself they were just wash, that’s why it feels a little tight or they don’t  stretched out as much anymore because your thinner now. I kept trying to rationalize it in my head, but I really knew. The number on the scale wasn’t representing that I was gaining weight.

My old scale still said 148.4 same number from Monday, same basic number from a week ago. Well here’s what the new scale said. Weight-154.8, Body a Fat-34.6, Muscle Mass-25.8%, BMI-28.1, Water Weight-47.9%, Bone Mass-3.6. Now here is the guidelines for women and men.

According to the chart, my body fat is HIGH and my BMI, I’m overweight. I’M A SIZE 8!!!  However, I’ve always known this. Crazy right.

I’ve never lost weight for anybody else. My weight loss has always been for me. When I gave birth to my daughter I was 211 pounds. I’m 5’2 It’s 17 years later and no, I’m not that obese girl but I’m not thin either.

 Today I make my intentions to 20 pounds

I make this declaration for the world to see. Why, because it isn’t about getting a boyfriend or looking good in a dress, it about being healthy. Isn’t that why I became vegan? Or at least one of the reasons. Just because a cookie is vegan doesn’t mean it’s good for you. I just found a new way to cheat.

I have multiple sclerosis and I’ve said a million times, I need to be thinner so people can lift me. It was always a fear, in the back of my mind, what if I can’t lift myself? Then it happened, that horrible day when I couldn’t get off the floor. https://multipleexperiences.org/2017/05/09/2231/

My arms couldn’t  hold my body weight. I may not be able to exercise as I want to but I can control my eating. It’s time to gain some control. Actually gain willpower . I’ve been lacking in that department. I’ve prayed for guidance and now I set forth my intention. Tomorrow I will set forth my second intention.