It’s quiet this morning. Not the quiet in sounds more in stillness. I’m listening to the gardeners mowing outside as I am gazing at the water. My dogs are even still. Do they know? This morning Zoey didn’t finish her breakfast. In two years Zoey has never not finished a meal. Yesterday she needed a little coaxing and today as soon as I walked out of the kitchen she came with me and wouldn’t stay and eat her food. I did, I swear, I went back and she just looked at me. We’re leaving tonight to take my daughter to college. We’re packing my bags for the weekend and my daughter stuff is all packed. Do you think they know?
My daughter is sleeping in my room. It’s something she did when she was little and every now and then she would come into my room as she got older. I think she wanted to be there for old times sake and partly for me. I really wasn’t sad or nervous about her going but I woke up today and realized I’m going to miss her. I think I kept telling myself that I wasn’t sad because I didn’t want to put any more pressure on her. The truth is I love my baby girl. I’m going to miss seeing that face every day. I’m probably just as nervous as she is but for different reasons.
Life is going to be a lot different at home. I have a nursing assessment on Tuesday with my current insurance and there is a very good chance they could lower my nursing aid hours. There won’t be much I can even do about it. I’ll have to restructure everything to get what I need to get done with in that time slot. At this point I don’t want to talk about what I need to do because I really don’t know what will or won’t happen. However I’m sure that will be in blog post in itself.
It’s going to be an adjustment to not see her every day. I will talk to her I’m sure almost every day, but I won’t see her face. I just want her to have the most amazing college experience. To be happy when she comes home, and be thrilled when she has to go back. That’s how college was for me. I just want that for her.