It can be so hard sometimes. Each step more laborious than the last. My step dad has a SUV and getting in and out of the car is an ordeal every time. But what upsets me the most is going to my mom and step dads house.

The house I grew up in is so difficult now for me to get into. There is a deck on the outside of the front of the house. When it was redone, they tried to put in a ramp, it was unsuccessful. It wasn’t done to codes and the ramp was to steep. It was redone back to steps. To code the house for a ramp was a small fortune. Not to mention would cut into beds of flowers that add to the beauty of the house. They talked to me and for the few times a year I’m there, I agreed it wasn’t worth it. However, the obstacles are still there when I go.

There is the driveway and a step up to the slate path. Then the deck and the large step into the house. Once in the house I’m ok unless I’m going into the living room. That’s another step. The outside consists of more steps from every door. This was the house I thought I would end up living at, now I see that isn’t going to happen. My condo, thank god, is much easier for me and the view is unbeatable. I’m so grateful for my condo but there is a little sadness going to my childhood home and having such difficulty. Of course I’m always surrounded by family helping me in every way to navigate the house but still. It is still my home and I can’t go in the door alone anymore. Another tough pill to swallow.