A tired rant

A tired rant

My daughter came home. Her health insurance is still in NY and she needed to see the “female” doctor. She decided to come home Wednesday evening because she was able to get an appointment for Thursday. Otherwise she would have had to wait until some time in December. She has to go for a sonogram before she leaves Friday morning. I am just happy I got an extra day to see her that was unexpected. I just love her face. I missed her. The puppies missed her. I know she’ll be back home in a few weeks but this was a very fast trip. She’s already leaving again. I want more time with her. This was too fast.

My house is back to normal because my regular aide came back on Wednesday. I definitely appreciate the consistency of someone who knows me. I have definitely discussed the fact that I find, for me, I need life to be consistent. If things change to my normal routine, my body will feel it at some point. I am still recovering from daylight savings. I find I am really tired at night and really tired in the mornings. I’ve been forcing myself to get out of bed at 8:30 but I really don’t want to at all. I’ve wanted to stay in bed all day. I push myself to get up. I workout but I find they are lacking intensity. My energy is just not there. It’s just a difference in change in the hour for sunrise and sunset don’t know why it messes me up. Yet it does.

I am tired. I’m writing this and I’m tired. I fell asleep watching tv yesterday before 9 on my chair. I just hate when fatigue plays such a strong role in symptoms. Between the spasticity and fatigue, it is getting tough. I have definitely been struggling more than normal lately. My mask has been plastered on my face. That I’m fine smile I show everyone when I really rather hide away. This is the time I very easily can isolate myself from the world. I actually prefer to isolate myself. I actually push myself to not. I’m going to mahjong today. I’m seeing my stepdad tomorrow. However, if I owe you a call and haven’t touched base, please don’t be offended. I am tired and talking on the phone is just not always my favorite past time.

It is just another day in the life with multiple sclerosis. Some days are tougher than others. Today I just needed to talk about a tougher day, again. Thanks for listening.

2 thoughts on “A tired rant

  1. I’m a retired insurance agent so spent all day on the phone. Now I have a phone phobia. It takes me days if not a week to force myself to make or return a call. I think it’s a combo of my word finding issues, and the numb face/mouth making me slur a bit. It’s my hardest thing trying to accomplish tasks that took seconds before but now takes forever.

    1. I get it. Everything is a task. So many people don’t understand that. I don’t intend to be antisocial. I just loose the energy to do anything more than sit there sometimes.

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