I need the alone time physically and mentally

I need the alone time physically and mentally

It’s beautiful out a cool 63 degrees and I still have to have my AC on. The only downside to my condo is it’s angle. If the wind is blowing the wrong way this condo gets no air and can become hot with the morning sun. Today is that kind of day. There is no breeze out there. I hate that. I love having all the windows open and a cool breeze blowing and I’ve been robbed of it this whole week. I can’t complain on the weather affecting my MS symptoms which is a plus. It is not a summer heat. No humidity. My hibernation has officially come to an end.

I laugh at that because I still hibernate but not because of the weather, now it is usually because I’m exhausted. I’m thrilled for the weekend because I have no plans. I had a long week, at least it feels like a long week, and I’m exhausted. Looking forward to a quiet weekend with just me and my dogs. I don’t have dinner plans with anyone or any other obligations. I can stay in bed all day if I want. I won’t but I could sleep past 8 at least if I choose. I just wish I didn’t feel so tired all the time it has been an incredibly hard thing to deal with. It has been a new battle I’m fighting with daily.

The weekend is my alone time when I’m without my aid but I’m also left to not hold conversation or entertain someone else. I adore my aid but I need those weekend days for myself. It is my mental days off as well. Hence the reason I sometimes end up hibernating again and retreating in my house and my inner world. I don’t mean it to be antisocial, I’m just exhausted from the week. I have shut people out and for this I apologize. I need to work on this unless I want to continue to alienate friends and family. It is still something I struggle to balance.

This weekend, I am not balancing anything and I’m taking it for me. I have my big sister coming Monday with her foster girls and I haven’t seen her in so long and her girls never met my dogs or seen my place. Can’t wait for that. It is the Jewish New Year so I’m wishing a Happy New Year to anyone celebrating. It is Friday enjoy your weekend.

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