Question, do you snap at people when you’ve hit your limit? When all my energy is gone and I’m completely exhausted, I’m known to loose my patience. My fuse is short and I can snap easily. My daughter knows this all to well. It is just like my brain can’t handle anything else in that given moment and all my positivity and mental reasoning goes out the door. I wouldn’t say it happens often anymore but it does happen.
I offended my aid yesterday. I had one of these moments. I was exhausted from occupational therapy Dog tired occupational therapy hazard. I haven’t been that fatigued in a long time. Unfortunately I still needed to set up my weekly pill box. I could talk my aid through it but it is quicker for me to do it still. I know my pills. Problem was my hands were just as exhausted as the rest of me and I kept dropping pills. I was now adding aggravation to exhaustion. Everyone was around me too in my little kitchen. My daughter was across sitting at the island complaining because she was having her own problem getting her prescription filled. My aid next to me. My dogs trying to get to the pills I kept dropping. My patience was reaching that limit. The real problem though was my house was so hot and I was overheating.
I’m always warmer than everyone else. My aid always turns on the heat, which is fine, but she sometimes raises the heat making it too hot for me. I have an old heat system and the thermostat doesn’t always reflect the correct temperature. When the heat is raised the heat can continue to stay on making the house very warm. Yesterday was one of those days. Once I started overheating in combination with the exhaustion and aggravation, where the combination of exhaustion, I snapped about her raising the heat in the house. I told her not to touch the numbers. I said it with a bit more attitude and tone than those simple words. She felt I scolded her like a child and was upset with me this morning. I tried to explain it wasn’t personal I just reach my limit in that moment. There comes a point when I mentally can’t take anything else either. I didn’t mean to snap but truth was I’ve said this to her more than once. I just had enough yesterday and was in a negative spoon inventory. I couldn’t deal. I needed to shut down for a bit and recover.
Have you ever had these moments with MS? The reason my daughter knows them well is because she was notorious for coming to me at 8 or 9 o’clock after my full day to tell me she needed something for school or some other problem I had to fix. I was always mentally and physically exhausted and had no more left to deal. I’d snap easily in those moments as well. Took her years but she finally learned mom’s bedtime was not the time to approach her with issues.