I’d love a day off from my symptoms

I’d love a day off from my symptoms

Well good morning to everyone. Happy Monday. I am dictating this through my new iPhone. Hopefully the dictation goes better than the old phone, after all the issues I’ve had dealing with the purchase of this new phone, at least something needs to go right.You can’t make this up….  I must say, so far, it’s working really well.

I’ve had a tough weekend, I’m still just not feeling great, not sickness wise, more MS issues. i’ve slept in every day which has been nice. I even skipped Saturday’s work out. However, this morning I did a intense and demanding work out. I may have overdone it because when I went back to sit in my chair, I didn’t quite make it. I ended up half in my chair and half in my wheelchair.  refusing to fall, hi inch by inch maneuvered myself into the chair. It took me 10 minutes to get my ass securely in the seat. I think that was just as intense as my workout. It’s all so difficult.

24 hours a day seven days a week, there’s never a time when it easy. There are times when it is easier, but never easy. Everything i do takes an incredible amount of energy. Every task from the simplest thing takes energy that I don’t always have. Even if I have the energy too much, I can easily wipe myself out very quickly. Doesn’t take much and what worked one day may not work another day. That is what is frustrating, well one of the things that are frustrating.

Unfortunately, my MS has been frustrating and I need a break. However that’s the thing with chronic diseases, there are no breaks. At least at my stage of the disease. I can’t get a break from fatigue. There aren’t days when I can get dressed or undressed easily. There are no moments where the numbness briefly leaves my hands, feet, or any other body part. There are no days I can walk without an enormous amount of effort. There are no days I wake up and feel great. That is a tough thing to mentally deal with day to day but I do. I have other things that make me happy.

I wake up to the faces of my dogs who are always so happy when my eyes are open that I forget about anything else. I am lucky to have help in my home for some of the things that would be difficult for me to do. I have a wonderful family that always checks in on me and sends love on those bad days. I have a beautiful view I easily get lost in daily. I have an amazing daughter who is the light of my life. I have had multiple sclerosis for almost 23 years. I would love to have a day off from all my symptoms but since that can’t happen, I’m thankful for the life and the people that surround me. It just helps it be a little more bearable.

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