I’ve written so many blogs about my numerous “accidents” but I never discuss the other way. I actually experience both of them which is why Botox wasn’t an option for me. I dealt with hesitancy long before I dealt with the urgency and the accidents.

What is urinary hesitancy mean? If you have trouble starting to urinate or maintaining urine flow, you may have urinary hesitancy.

If you ever experienced hesitancy you know how it feels. Your bladder is full, you need to relieve yourself but you just can’t. It is horrible actually. I use to try everything. Sitting on the toilet backwards, sitting in the shower, I even tried to orgasm in my younger days. I would do anything that would work when hesitancy was at its worst.

Then one day I started pushing down on my bladder and massaging. That seemed to work. It helped me get the stream started but also helped get the bladder empty which was also a crucial thing. I am still using this technique (for lack of a better word) to this day. Even though i have more frequency and incontinence, it helps empty my bladder. I don’t know the exact date I started doing this but I know I had the bladder issue when I was still married. I’m divorced over 15 years so it’s been a long time.

For me hesitancy appears anytime I am really tired. I mean like I overdid it tired. If the rest of my muscles in my body have issues, my bladder has issues. It becomes tired too. When that happens I can’t get the urine stream started and or steady. It is a frustrating feeling in the bathroom. I’ve learned to wait it out. Eventually as my body relaxes, so does my bladder. I find on the days I take my water pill it happens less frequently than on the days I don’t take them. I currently take the water pill 4 times a week but then the frequency of trips to the bathroom can cause the urgency and the incontinence to increase. I actually hate them. However if I didn’t take them my feet would swell significantly. A no situation.

When I looked at the Botox for the bladder, because I’m an enigma and have both incontinence and hesitancy, there was a very good chance that I would need a catheter. I wasn’t gonna risk it. So for me it’s always a guessing game. And every day is a new experience with the bladder. However, most of the time now it’s incontinence.