Hoping for a better tomorrow

Hoping for a better tomorrow

Yesterday was not my greatest morning. Belly issues but I was able to avoid the mess of things by getting in the shower fast enough. I made it in the middle of the night and the morning. I was so proud of myself. Such a stupid thing to be proud of, yet I was. I was until I took a slip in the shower. It’s a small space and at first I held myself up slightly but I couldn’t hold on, down to the floor I went. A very bad place to be. I was literally in an area the size of a tiny closet that is wet. On top of the slippery environment I also had my shower chair in the tiny space. I had no where to move and more importantly no traction to try to move.

My shower is the one place that is not handicap accessible. There is a lip I need to get my feet over to get into the shower. It isn’t a huge lip like a bathtub but big enough for a person with MS who has difficulty lifting their feet. It was this lip that proved most difficult when I was on the floor in the shower. I first tried to get myself out, feet first but I couldn’t get my butt over the lip. So I thought ok, I should try to crawl up and over the lip. It sounds so easy. Maybe it would’ve been if I didn’t exercise directly before I put myself in the shower. Maybe it would’ve been easy if I didn’t expel so much energy going from my feet being first out to trying to crawl out. Whatever might have been wasn’t my reality.

I thought it would be simple of course it wasn’t. I tried so many times to get my knee over that lip and I never even came close. I finally made the decision to throw my body over figuring I’d drag my legs over. Sounded smart. I just didn’t take into account my wheelchair. It was too close to give me any room to maneuver myself on the floor yet too far for me to use the chair for help. I ended up half outside the shower and half inside with my upper thighs over the lip. The lip that has the metal track for the glass doors. It was painful. My arms were also in a very awkward position that was starting to hurt.

I laid there with no more energy to get myself up. No room to maneuver. No way to fix my position. It was the first time I am a person I am metal or button. I knew I was in trouble. I tried so hard to remain calm but the tears just came. My hair was completely in my face, I was sweating and I couldn’t really move my head around. My mouth was so dry. I was slightly panicked. I have my Apple Watch on and I kept trying to get my Siri to come on so I could call my aid. It was in sleep mode, I needed to touch it to wake it up. I kept trying to hit it with my face because it was the only thing I could reach it with. I finally got it and I finally got in touch with my aid. Thankfully she was on her way here and she was close

She was in my house within 10 minutes. That was why I never needed to press my med-alert button. I was able to get back up fairly quickly but my body was beyond fatigued. I never recovered all day. It was one of the hardest days I’ve had in a long time. Hopefully tomorrow will be better after a good nights sleep. I know a day can make all the difference.

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