Rough day

Rough day

Rough day yesterday. I didn’t feel well when I woke up in the morning. I didn’t pay attention. I did my normal routine and was working out when Minx started eating something he shouldn’t. I reached down to pick up my grabber, which I myself knocked over, and literally fell out of the wheelchair. I got myself right back up but was unable to turn around and get myself back into the wheelchair and slid down again. My body was too tired from not feeling right and from doing a work out. I just didn’t have the energy to keep trying to get up, which I continued to do. Over an hour and a half I was on the floor. My legs were just dead weight so difficult to move around and to the right position. I was so angry laying there because there was no reason for it. I work so hard to build these leg muscles and hip muscles and core so this doesn’t happen to me anymore. Once the body fatigued all bets are off and none of the hard work is apparent. I laid on the floor completely useless. A horrible feeling both physically and mentally. I let the emotions take over and the tears came. I knew crying wasn’t going to help my situation but I was just so helpless lying there. I felt very alone in that moment. My aid wouldn’t be in for another 30 minutes. There wasn’t much more I could do but wait for her. I laid my head down on the floor and closed my eyes attempting some meditation breathing work.

Once my aid got there, getting me up was fairly easy. I just needed the placement of my knees and feet. I needed the bathroom and was so thankful I didn’t have an accident to top off my rough morning. As I was coming out I got extremely Nauseous. Sure enough, I was sick within seconds. I didn’t eat or drink anything, so was only my medicines that came up. I must say they’re worse coming up them when they go down then I just felt horrible. Everything I was feeling in the morning when I woke up hit me like a ton of bricks and I just felt achy. I wasn’t able to eat anything. I was drinking some ginger ale slowly but that came up too. I ended up sleeping the afternoon away on my chair.

I tried to shower later in the day which resulted in another fall. This time my aid was there the whole time. Even with her there it took my awhile to get myself up. I ended up going to bed at 7pm and sleeping until 7am. I feel better today but not great. However I didn’t end up on the floor this morning. I’m grateful for that. I’m taking it easy today but I’d still like to shower. Other than that I don’t think I can do much more. I did simple morning stretches instead of a workout. I was cursing MS yesterday. I was so frustrated and truthfully sad. I find this disease really unforgiving sometimes.

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