Determined to walk

Determined to walk

These weeks are going by super fast. It’s Friday again already. Obviously, guess I didn’t really need to point that out. I just feel like things have been on hyper drive lately. It’s bizarre. I mean we are already through half of the year 2021. Didn’t we just celebrate the New Year? Does time speed up as you get older? I turn 50 this year, in November. I remember throwing a surprise party for my mom when she turned 50. I don’t have enough friends for a surprise party, plus I’d hate it. I don’t like to be the center of attention, despite what others may think. I did mention in another blog I’d love to jump out of a plane. I just didn’t think it was possible for me anymore. I would never be able to lift my feet when we landed on the ground. I also want to shoot a gun. There are shooting ranges right by me and that I can certainly make happen. I told my daughter so hopefully she could make that happen by the time my birthday rolls around. The way this year is flying by it will be here quick.

My other goal is to be on my feet more than in the wheelchair. I’m determined to walk again as my main means of maneuvering. This may sound crazy for someone with a progressive disease like multiple sclerosis but I know I can make this happen. Yesterday I walked even further than I walked on Tuesday and that day was a record breaker.

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I want to at minimum not use the wheelchair in the house. It is an aggressive goal but I believe I can get it accomplished. I work hard and my perseverance is extremely set in my head. Sometimes that’s a good thing sometimes a bad because I have pushed myself past the fatigue point on many occasions. I just don’t care, I’d rather fatigue from working hard than doing anything at all. It is just who I am. It is how I’ve always dealt with my disease. I did what I wanted, when I wanted and pushed my body to keep up. Sure I had days I had to crash and revise things but I more or less pushed myself especially when I worked out. Now I can’t not workout because mentally I need it just as much. However, I constantly look to make them harder and challenge my body at each phase of its disability.

Yes, I am still getting worse each day. The fact that I put on a goal which would mark improvement in my disease is strange. Im not expecting improvements in my disease. Im learning how to retrain my hips, feet, knees, quads, hamstrings and pelvis how to move again with the MS Gym. Im stimulating the muscles for the first time in years with Bionic Gym. Im gaining strength in muscles that have been dormant. That is how I will achieve my goal. Im not curing myself. Im just taking a different approach to correcting a deficiency.

I love to push myself. I love the challenge. I love when I see improvements. I feel good. Not from my MS symptoms but from a tough workout and a great sweat. I feel good about what I’m accomplishing. Im determined to walk again. Multiple sclerosis is my disease not my sentence.

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