Multiple Sclerosis Adapt and Accept

Multiple Sclerosis Adapt and Accept

Friday again. It was a week ago I wrote about weather changes once again affecting MS symptoms. I had changed PT from Monday to Wednesday because I was having a rough day Monday. Well I guess I was having a rough day Wednesday too. I couldn’t walk five steps. So much for my goal of walking the hallway and back to my condo door. It wasn’t even close. I honestly couldn’t walk a few feet out my door. I was dripping with sweat. The hallway was hot and humid. In all honesty I was overheated before I even started PT. Even though I was in my bedroom with the AC on, even though the outside temperature wasn’t more than 75 degrees, even though I didn’t do much trying to conserve my energy, I knew it was going to be a bad day. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to walk. I knew by my hands. A by product of the pneumonia maybe but when they are bad my legs are worse. The claw hand thing. We did other PT stuff that didn’t include walking. It certainly wasn’t a wasted hour. I was happy when he said we were done. I have come a long way despite the bad day. However, even to the closest people to me, I still had to explain why I couldn’t walk. Multiple sclerosis isn’t a practice makes perfect disease. I have good days and not so good days. More of the latter. Heat and humidity make the bad days worse. I would say most of my hallway walking are on bad days that are better than others. That day I walked almost back to my condo door was a good day. They are all freaking hard.

I once again have to take it all in stride. It is what it is. I am so much better than I thought I’d be I can only be grateful. I don’t know if I will ever be where I was prior to all this sickness. It doesn’t matter now, does it? I’m at this point now. I can only imagine if I stayed in that dark place i was in when I came home from the hospital. I was so scared. It seemed so insurmountable. I really thought I might never walk again. I thought I might really never get out of my bed by myself. Fighting to keep those thoughts out of my mind was so hard. I just knew I couldn’t go there.

It has been a long 6 months. I learned a lot about myself during these months. I also strengthened my spiritual awareness. Who knew!!! In a strange way to think this ordeal made me stronger in many ways. My relationship with my family has changed. There has been a new closeness formed with my sisters, parents, aunts, uncles and cousins. My ability to adapt to my life changes have improved. Mostly my gratefulness to what I have became more significant. Throughout all this hardship, I’ve become happier than I was before this all happened. I somehow became more peaceful with multiple sclerosis. I still hate this disease at many moments of most days, but I have accepted my circumstance. I’ve accepted my stage of disability. Guess what??? I am still smiling most days

5 thoughts on “Multiple Sclerosis Adapt and Accept

  1. I had a bad day today and it wasn’t hot, high of 55 and windy. I slept most of it. Didn’t go to my brothers birthday party, venue not wheelchair friendly and no bathroom. Besides no one offered to take or come out and get me.

    1. My family camps and for some reason don’t understand that the campground is not wheelchair friendly. Plus my arms are my worst physical issues they are ridiculously weak. I couldn’t get over the roots gravel and slopes. If I had to stay in a wheelchair long term I would have to buy a electric one. (Currently in wheelchair due to knee injuries not MS) and Bathrooms has been a huge education so many issues in a wheelchair. I’m sorry you were not more of a priority for your family

      1. I have an electric wheelchair. I could never imagine NOT having one. I’d be exhausted trying to get from my bedroom to the kitchen. I’ve had bathroom issues for years. Camping is certainly not an activity I’d be able to do anymore.

  2. Ugh!!! It’s so challenging. I remember when my ms really active..I would wake up and slowly streach my right leg. CB I could tell by the spasms how bad the day would be. That few seconds was always so scary. I’m so glad you have the support team you have.

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