A Monday morning Rant

A Monday morning Rant

I’m sad, my daughter went back home to Maine today. I had a really nice visit with her this past week. She might have needed to come home for mom time but I definitely needed daughter time. I am just such a proud mom watching her start her life. She is in a new state, has made some really good friends and has become so much stronger standing on her own. I can’t even begin to say how amazed I am watching her grow. She is much stronger than I was at that age. She is stronger than I was at 40. I really am so amazed by her. I am also sad because I never realize how much I miss her until she comes home.

Well life goes back to normal again. I have to admit, I have been feeling very fatigued lately. I’ve had a few falls with transfers. Some of the aids that are covering, not my normal aides, have definitely not helped with that situation. I have had all my mishaps with them. I don’t feel safe getting out of bed when they are here. If I’m fatigued I need help transferring and they just don’t get how to help. It is once again another frustrating thing I have to deal with. I’ve complained to the agency. They were going to make adjustments but it wasn’t done. Once again I have to deal with that tomorrow. I’ve been cursing my wheelchair lately. Cursing my MS. I guess I have been a little moody. I’m allowed. I am tired of being tired. I hate complaining in my blog but sometimes you just need to bitch. After all it’s my blog.

I think the thing that keeps me sane is my morning exercise. It takes a while to recover from that now. Sometimes I don’t know if I recover at all. I still prefer to exercise above anything else during the day. Like I said it’s my sanity. I am starting to see my world shrink again into the four walls of my bedroom. I am not even upset about that. I am tired of trying sometimes. I’m usually exhausted from the effort. Ok maybe I am moody, sad even a little depressed. I think I bitched enough for the morning.

Thanks for listening

2 thoughts on “A Monday morning Rant

  1. Yes, you are definitely allowed to bitch all you want and yes it is your Blog. I am happy you do because it lets me know that I am not alone in this MS world. It’s a new year, though I feel my constant fatigue and depression is getting the best of me right now. I don’t like to complain knowing others in the world are dealing with much worse, but some days I just need to get it off my chest. Best to you in 2023. Happy to hear of your daughter’s successes!

    1. Thank you Dix. I really appreciate you writing. I do sometimes feel like it is just me in this MS world too. I read other people’s blogs and they are doing so much better than I am. I don’t understand how I am always worse. It helps to know you aren’t alone so thank you ?. Hope you have a good beginning to 2023. Feel free to reach out anytime.

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