A honest look at an MS bad day

A honest look at an MS bad day

I was fatigued yesterday doing my normal routine in the morning which involves cleaning up after my dogs, feeding them and morning grooming for me. I had a goal to workout. I knew I should have waited a bit since i was already fatigued but I wanted to get it over with. On top of this my stomach was bothering me. I know better for all these reasons but I pushed it anyway. Within 10 minutes of my chair Zumba I needed to use the bathroom. I got up to go and realized immediately I was in trouble.

My bathroom is about 12-15 steps from where I was but my body was having major difficulty walking. Right outside the bathroom my legs gave out and I slid to the floor. I knew I was in trouble because my muscles were beyond exhausted. I crawled into the bathroom. (Note on crawling this is very difficult in itself because my hip muscles don’t move normal anymore. A crawl for me is a very slow process that takes considerable time and energy.) I attempt to pull myself up with either the toilet or the bathtub but my legs were too tired to push and my arms didn’t have enough energy to pull. I was stuck on the floor.

I laid on the floor trying not to panic and grateful that the feeling of having to go to the bathroom had passed for the moment. I tried to meditate and breathe paying attention to my breath knowing I needed to stop moving and gain some of my strength back. So I stopped moving and sat there for ten minutes and tried again but I had no luck. It didn’t help I was sliding on the tile floors and couldn’t gain traction.

I decided to try to crawl to my room which has the carpet. This took me about 15 minutes to crawl the 10 feet. I was now in a sweat and still exhausted. I was going to try to get into my wheelchair but as I was going there my stomach stopped cooperating and I needed the bathroom and fast. I crawled into my bathroom which has a strong handicap bar praying that this was going to help me. It did not. I made it to my walk in shower and somehow got my pants down. I was still stuck on the floor.

It took me another 30 minutes before I made it to my wheelchair and was able to pull myself up again. I cleaned everything up including myself. I sat in my living room with the comfort of my dogs for a few hours before I was able to come to myself. This is MS and this is a bad day. It isn’t everyday and I could have prevented this one but this is what I can deal with and how strong I really am. This is MS.

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