I realize something last night, for all my complaining about fatigue, I’ve been staying up most nights till 10 o’clock. If you look back to before I saw my doctor, I was in bed by eight and asleep by 8:30. https://multipleexperiences.org/2019/09/03/trip-to-the-neurologist/ This is before he gave me the Adderall. Yes, my body isn’t recovering from my exercise. Yes, I’m still exhausted and finding it hard to move about as easily as I was. However, I’m not at that stage of fatigue where I am falling all over myself asleep. My body is exhausted there’s no denying that but I am not mentally as exhausted. It was back in September when I was really suffering and couldn’t keep my eyes open. As bad as this part of fatigue is, I forgot how bad it actually was. Sometimes you forget where you came from against how it is because how it is isn’t necessarily good just better than before.
That’s a very true statement with multiple sclerosis. Symptoms can come and go and the severity can come and go. A symptom might never go away but maybe it is not as numb as it originally presented. There are parts of my body that I haven’t felt since I was diagnosed in 1998. Yet those parts varied through the years of how I felt them until the extreme severity stage which many parts are now stuck in.
It is frustrating with any chronic disease that you never get healed. When you go to the doctor there is only so much that can be done to alleviate your symptoms. That’s the key too, alleviating the symptoms not curing the primary cause. When you suffer from a chronic disease there is no cure. My doctor prescribed me Adderall to help with the exhaustion I was having and it has helped, to a degree. It can’t cure fatigue and it certainly can’t cure MS. Therefore I feel better than I did back in September yet I am far from feeling well. That’s a true definition of the day in the life with MS.