I’m thankfully doing better today because I slept. Never under estimate the power of a good nights sleep. I was able to exercise a little this morning. I purposely decided to keep it simple and just do my MS gym exercises. There was an entire revamping of the MS gym and I actually started the from the very beginning again. That means the exercises aren’t as intense. I was pairing them with chair cardio everyday but knew that wouldn’t be wise. I’m glad I made that decision. Even with a very simple exercise this morning, I am completely wiped out. This is what I expected from the infusion. To easily be tired from my simple everyday activity, exercise included. Exercise is my everyday activity.

This I can deal with. Nothing like the last few days. I’m still all battered and bruised but not completely shattered. I’m tired but not fatigued to the point I can’t get up to the bathroom safely. I know if I overdid this morning and tried to add an additional 30 minutes of cardio I probably would be shattered. See I do make smart decision sometimes. I love to push myself past my limits but I also know my limits. I needed to give my body a break but also my mom.

My mom has, as she always has, taken on the brunt of the last few days of my MS. She can never relax when she hears of my falls. I hate to even tell her but I was in such bad shape, I needed my mom. I can’t say I don’t understand her fears with me because they are, unfortunately, very real. She now feels I need an aid overnight. I’ve been fighting her for a while not have an aid on the weekend. Now she wants one overnight. Ugh!!!

I would never get approved for an aid overnight. The insurance company approves based on ADL or Activities of Daily Living. They all have their own guidelines and formulas that they use. Basically to get an overnight aid, you need to be basically bed bound unable to do anything by yourself. I don’t fall into that category. I am lucky I get 8 hours a day. Other insurance companies only offered me 4-6. That’s why I choose my current plan. They would approve weekend aid time but I cherish the time I get to myself.

My mom needs to know I’m safe when she isn’t here and more importantly when she goes away. I know I am always on her mind and she is constantly worried about me. I have taken falls that I purposely do NOT tell her about. I may blog about them because she doesn’t read my blog. We tried a few times to sign her up on my blog but it never worked, strange. However she says why do I need to read what I live every day. A sad but true statement.

I know how I am about my own daughter and her disability with her cochlear implants. She at least isn’t at risk to falling, hurting herself or just having daily difficulties. I can’t imagine how hard my disease is on her. I know it is hard for all my family but especially for mom. I live with my multiple sclerosis everyday but my diagnosis was handed down to more than just me. Sometimes during those darker days. I forget that.