I was determined to get into my comfy chair. Ok getting in isn’t the problem, it’s getting out. The chair is not only low but mushy. I don’t have anything very solid to push myself up to a standing position. I tried to angle the wheelchair in front of me, using the chair’s arms. Unfortunately, that didn’t help either. The end result was being lifted up by both my physical therapist and the aide. I was discouraged. Getting into, excuse me out of is my comfy chair, is my goal. That is what I’ve been striving for to get me out of my bed room. Not that my life would change that much I would just be changing location of where I watch tv. I would be able to have my view, while it lasts. A huge hotel is being built two blocks from me. It will take away my ability to see my beautiful view from my comfy chair as my living room is laid out. I will have to sit on my balcony for the extensive views. I will always have a water view, just won’t be as great as it is now.

Thank Yet the discouragement of not being able to get out of my comfy chair wasn’t just about a water view. I was so sure I wouldn’t have a problem getting up. I really thought I was getting stronger even though it was slow. I thought I’d for sure have gained enough strength for that task. I was surprised when I tried and tried and I just couldn’t stand up. It is just a chair. One that I’ve I’ve got up from thousands of times. How did I become so weak? A month of physical therapy and I still can’t get up from a chair that is too low. I know I should be grateful that I had the people to get me up. I should be grateful for the physical therapy I am able to receive. I should be grateful that I have the ability to adjust to my new circumstances. I should be grateful but in all honesty I am really pissed off. I struggled enough through the years with multiple sclerosis. However, this experience has been the hardest. How it all happened due to another illness I couldn’t control. It isn’t fair that a pneumonia has completely changed my already difficult life.

I don’t want to rant on this for any longer. It doesn’t do me any good. I just needed to say that as positive as I try to be, I am not always happy. That’s okay too. I’m allowed to feel angry, discouraged and frustrated. I still won’t stop trying and fighting. That part doesn’t change regardless of how I feel. I am still determined to get out of my comfy chair on my own. When I complete that task I will just strive for the next one. I’m a MS warrior.